santa anna's diary

I have been in this land a long time doing battle. For many years I was driven by the deceptive intuition that I'd come out a victor. Maybe it wasn't intuition, maybe it was my mother. This land. That I belonged so certainly in it, a general, something like a king.

But as the years continued on I participated in my fair share of victories and loss. It was loss I found most interesting, honest.

Every time I'd get high, it was loss that chopped me down. As though God, telling me that any apex of achievement was folly in comparison to a life humbled. But I fought against humility. Maybe it was just my nature, maybe it was the distance of my father. The sky. Me. I wanted to be the warm wind that caresses the ear of your soul, the one that moves you in an otherwise collapsing fragmented time of year.