i couldn't for the life of me. i had to track down her name on the internet. i'd been wrong about my guess at her name. i felt a satisfaction in the throes of this loss.
before she left me to work with teenagers full time, my therapist said she learned from me: resilience.
and in my dream i was concerned he ate all of it cuz he was so skinny and weak like he was toward the end.
and in my dream he surprised me cuz he followed me into another room and stood there with me while i tended to my task.
and in my dream i turned to him and i said--
after i woke up--
that that morning after i awoke from that dream but before we met for breakfast, i had stared at my bedroom blinds with tears in my eyes and i had asked my dad for another sign.