the days turn and somehow life brings us together grateful

a fallen buddha beneath a little tree. three million caribou cross the arctic. a young girl so careless with her time. i walk face first into spiderwebs of my own design. get all tangled up, silk thread across my mind. and you and i were you and i again, sitting across from one another at a strange memory cafe and empty indian restaurant. now in our late twenties, yes. you wore a hat, i had the same shirt on that i always did. conversation always alive, we've always been able to share the world. i walked around today, knowing you are my best friend. we've beaten each other up, made love vigorously, cried on steep hills, laughed like maniacs under full moons, moved together with bounding love, on islands and off, brought it to land, earth, water, the big blue is huge, mediterranean alive, a couple of kids grown up in different saltwater, united by warm blood, it's all the same, it's all the same my dear friend. you've made my days meaningful.

a work of fiction

the night before you left, your disease warned me. it smiled in my face like a devil. your body limp; you were submerged somewhere far down below, drowned. "i'm going to continuously disappoint you." you said. i disagreed, i fought, tried blowing it away in a hurricane of my love. i felt your racing heart on the kitchen floor, blanketed you in care, kept showing you the waves.

those were tears in your eyes when we said goodbye the next day. i got to work and cried.

that kid who follows you around, dresses you in splendor, he's not your best friend, he's a blind eye. you'll find plenty of those, swirling like helicopters around your image, willing to look away for the shine. but friend? right now, the disease is your best friend. i hope you ditch it for good. i wish you luck, i wish you love. i'd do anything if it would make a difference, but distance was the demon's best friend.

santa monica

she had this worldly accent and a voice different from any i'd ever heard and she knew how to push through a lot of the bullshit.

do you know what scares me about you?

huh?

it's that you're not afraid to be miserable.

which might've been true. it's tough to tell, because i've been feeling feeling feeling ever since.

graham greene

"he couldn't tell that this was one of those occasions a man never forgets: a small cicatrice had been made on the memory, a wound that would ache whenever certain things combined--the taste of gin at mid-day, the smell of flowers under a balcony, the clang of corrugated iron, an ugly bird flopping from perch to perch."

proper bonsai care

life is what happens when we're falling in love. proper sunlight, plenty of water, never let the soil become dry. always admire once a day, a good one can last over 150 years. a good love can go forever. i believe in love, which is strange, because i'm more confused by myself and earth than i can remember. we've landed on mars, our planet is a bunch of gravity, you don't start shaping the tree for at least a few years. and when the weather dips below 40 farenheit, the organism must go outside for warmth. i get the feeling that time is still and we move across, creating the distinctions and writing stories linear, stories quantam. the thing about this tree; you can talk to it like a monk, give it all the attention in the world, kiss it goodnight, but it has to thrive on it's own, so do i, so do you. we share this time together, make it what we may, wonderful, fascinating, and as harmony accords, this tree will gift itself in agonizingly beautiful formations, provided by sunlight, care, freedom to grow.

capo 2

sometimes i feel i'm on a train
of which i have no control
holding on with everything
when i just want to let go

it's everything, it's everything.
it's everything, it's everything.

this isn't an exercise
more like the real thing
it's not some final prize
it's everything

you said move along
or you'll get run over by the wake
you still believe life is long
but we should not hesitate

sometimes i think i'm on a ship
far out to sea
it's going down real fast
and i'm letting go of everything.