Acting 101

I told one of my directors, in his kitchen, that I was apprehensive about a few upcoming scenes. He told me not to worry, that I was locked in, my performance spot on. That I was a talent. I leaned my hands onto the cool tiled counter and prepared my new found actor diatribe. The thing about it was, the performance wasn't my concern, rather the experiencing of it. The line between me and my character is currently non-existent, separated by a name and a premise. A wardrobe. I have my faculties. I'm not in danger. I've just created someone and it's profound - that who we are is so often reinforced by the lines we're most often fed and how others play into and against us. That with myself in the off-hours, I have been relying upon the bedrock of my personhood and it is a wild west. And this is a fascinating way to experience the world, within the already over-solidified one that we're primarily bound to but peeling into something else. Exploring a sub-world. One of our own making that soon grows its own dimensions beyond our control. That everything takes on a life of its own if given enough attention. That movies provide an alternate excuse to live. That our participation teaches us an entirely new focus and angle on the bigger picture. That it's always moving, even in stillness. An excursion into make believe.

This photo bothers me. One day at a time and then new fresh air.