Me and Smitty caught a live one. Around my neck. Me and Smitty caught someone who turned out to be yours truly. This was back in the day when thunder clapped the sky loud enough to give pause. We were living in that pause. When Smitty put his hands through my hair and I climbed onto him like a saddle. Ah man. We were crazy like that. And I was even crazier than him and we never could locate where the one of our sadistic minds ended and the other one began.
I met her during a blank time. She left. I met her again at a time of hurt. I was. She was. But she made me feel better. And I made her feel better. Then we tried on even ground for awhile.
Smitty had beads of sweat rolling down from his forehead that were pooling above his upper lip. I was tied up about this time. Smitty and I had tied me up. Boy was I rabid. It might have had something to do with the cigar Smitty kept lighting, stamping out on my leg, then re-lighting and-- well -- stamping out on my leg again. Gosh damn, that hurt.
I ended it still in love and ran around with my head cut off haunted by the invisibles for way too long. Now, I only dream of her once in awhile and only cuz she brought up our damn MORTALITY the last time we talked. That was why I cried in my dream. But backtracking a bit. We went through a break up and I guess we were both in so much pain from the fallout that we each started writing and singing music by ourselves which was something we never did together all that much.
Oh he had the gravest ideas. Like digging me a grave and then settling me down into it. Tied up and all. Then he would pour loose soil onto my body from six feet above or thereabouts. And he'd do it up until I was damn near one with the Earth. But it was only to test things out. I know that because he would pull me out long before my face'd turn blue and I was always grateful for that concern to my ultimate welfare.
Then I dated for awhile. I dated a girl whose dad brewed beer in his bathtub. I dated a Swedish girl who didn't like how outdated my computer software was. I dated another Swedish girl. I dated a girl whose female neighbor attacked her once in Venice. Then there were girls who carouseled through my bedroom for one night or two. And I call them girls because they can call me a guy. A guy whose face could be cold like a stone. Warm hands. These overactive warm hands unable to hide a bunch of love that courses through them like, it is undeniable.
Smitty and I were in the jungle. We never got caught. Not when we robbed trains. Not when we skipped out on whore tabs. Not when we made unkept promises to whore hearts. But the jungle, anyways, the jungle is where music was invented. There is a bird call rhythm that happens there with an unseen collective bass informing the background, measuring the pace. Anyways, Smitty was shooting parrots. One morning Smitty was shooting parrots. It is always nature right? That makes the story beautiful. This one, no different. Smitty was shooting the parrots and they were falling from tree limbs onto the canopy floor or whatnot and I was collecting them like a dog would for a hunter. I was collecting em and before long we had this big red and blue and green and yellow and black pile of feathered colors and after the labor intensive task of feathering and gutting the parrots a massive plume emerged, strung together by intestine and vine and brought gigantically out of the jungle where into the psalms of the wide-open light we tethered this beautiful explosion of hues onto our backs and we ran at full speed by our feet and legs to the greatest tall cliff that we could find and, Smitty and I, we jumped. Only, I forgot to. I forgot to jump and but Smitty did.
And I could've sworn for a solid moment there it looked like Smitty was actually defying the fall, rising up on soaring wings, but turns out the truth of things also has its tricks.
And I don't have a broken heart. I am healthy and strong in this very moment. Let it be marked for now. This one moment is big enough for everything. It is everything. Let it also be said that my brother and sister believe that we are kings and queens stranded on this planet from another place and time. And I am in agreement.
