tomorrow morning

i'm a side door away from peace. desperate and fearful of a meditative pause. being immersed in solitude is very different than knowing the ever-present silence. it's difficult to bare. so i've kept the music on, inebriated the mind, made my unconsciousness a purgatory for any pure energy. letting it wait. covering my ears. making noise. like a child tuning out. dodging the universe. anxiously avoiding my only redemption. the silent pain. universal patience. expansive immersion. discovery of breath. like a jagged spiritual transfusion. footsteps in the sand. nothing in my hands. it's been awhile since i ran on the beach.